


If Only You'd Said Hello Louder

by madamadam



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, POV Loki (Marvel), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), that elevator scene that crushed my heart, tragedies of miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23408236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamadam/pseuds/madamadam
Summary: Loki was beneath him, they both knew that. It was a fact of life. The same as Loki’s parentage, or the reality that he could never hold the throne in Asgard: much as he tried to push against these truths, hacking and shouting, truth they remained. The pushing was just a habit by now. It was what Thor expected of him, and everyone else, surely."I thought the world of you."…How was he supposed to respond to that?
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 53





	If Only You'd Said Hello Louder

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've watched the movies, so please forgive any canon errors...
> 
> Set during the elevator scene ;_;

“I thought the _world_ of you.”

The world. Thor thought. Of… _him_.

 _That’s not what you’re supposed to say,_ thought Loki. His calculations, those minute strategists designed to protect him in such conversational mind games, bubbled indignantly to the surface. _We’re supposed to banter. I just set up the perfect chance to insult me, all you had to do was stay silent and we both would have won – I with my cleverness, you with your righteousness. That’s what we DO._ But another part of him pulled him in, closer, craning to see where this would go. Best to analyze the situation before jumping to any conclusions.

_I thought the world of you._

The full weight of the words began to sink in, smothering the indignation with something different. Something… lighter. Thor thought… _well_ of him? No, more than that: Thor thought _the world_ of him. And seemed to find it obvious.

Loki racked his mind for any evidence of having overlooked this in Thor. Had he said anything like this in the past? Did anyone else know? It couldn’t be true; what would Thor ever look up to, aside from a throne and their oh-so-great father? Loki was beneath him, they both knew that. It was a fact of life. The same as Loki’s parentage, or the reality that he could never hold the throne in Asgard: much as he tried to push against these truths, hacking and shouting, truth they remained. The pushing was just a habit by now. It was what Thor expected of him, and everyone else, surely.

_I thought the world of you._

…How was he supposed to respond to that?

Apparently he didn’t need to – Thor was talking again, seemingly oblivious to the fundamental truths that he had just shattered, a foot to his left. Loki caught the words “side by side” and “forever and ever” – but wasn’t that wrong? They’d fought forever, yes, but always against each _other_.

…Well, except for that one time. But that had been doomed from the start; Thor had only needed his help to defeat the dark elves, surely afterwards things would have gone back to their usual contentious state, if Loki hadn’t thrown in a little drama to ensure a controlled ending. It had been nice, yes, but it couldn’t last. Brotherhood meant little in the shadow of power. And even now, away from Asgard… well, they’d just established that they were only working together out of necessity, hadn’t they? That they were on opposite sides? That Thor would continue to be the righteous man, and Loki would continue to scandalize him with his trickery?

“Maybe there’s still good in you, but–” Thor inhaled sharply, and Loki felt the wind sucked out of his own lungs as the implication hung in the air: this wasn’t a trick. It wasn’t even a conversation, really, not in the back-and-forth sense that Loki was used to, because Thor wasn’t tossing him a ball to catch, he was just dumping the whole kit at Loki’s feet and preparing to walk away.

Thor was saying goodbye.

A hundred tiny voices cried out in protest, scratching their way up Loki’s throat, but they weren’t calculated politicians anymore, or tricksters, or anything rational. Instead, they were just the echoes of one: the young boy, trapped within his ribs. It felt like he had been shoved inside a dark closet for punishment, his words turning from angry protests to frantic pleas as the footsteps faded away. _No. This isn’t supposed to happen, you aren’t supposed to leave, we’re supposed to argue and fight forever because that’s what we do but YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LEAVE!_

Thor was looking at the doors now, calmly, like he didn’t really care what Loki said back to him. Like he was at peace with things. Like Loki was just one more task to check off the list, and the moment this elevator arrived at its destination he would already have moved onto the next mental task, and the jailbreak and the ride home would be nothing but polite silence. No more bickering. No more tricks. No more Thor-and-Loki.

It wasn’t fair. Loki had _become_ this person because of Thor, he’d turned to cleverness and trickery because that was what Thor responded to best, he’d tried sucking up to Odin and then embraced villainy to spite him, to spite them both, when admiration didn't work, and now that Odin and Frigga were gone, Thor was all he had left. What was this sudden talk about brotherly love? Thor should have opened up about that a long time ago, not now, not without a future in which Loki could respond to it. Not when he had been craving it for so long, some kind of anchor, without knowing how to reach for it. And to discover now, at the end of their journey, that he could have had a brother all along? One who said such things as “you mean the world to me”?

 _Meant._ He had _meant_ the world to him.

When Loki finally worked up the voice for a response, as the elevator got closer and closer to its inevitable stop, all he could do was say: “Yeah.” Yeah, it's time we part ways. Yeah, this never would have worked out. If this is what you want. If this is how we are now. If this is all that I can force out of my mouth without shattering.

 _So this is goodbye,_ he thought, as Thor nodded and resumed looking at the doors.

_...If only you’d said “hello” louder._


End file.
